The End

It's almost 6 am. I've been up since about 4. I can't get back to sleep. Every time I try, my stomach churns, and I can't decide whether I'm freezing or burning up.

I... I wanna say I don't know if I can do this.

But if I say something like that, it makes it more true. I know I can make it. But right now... this hurts so badly.

Every hour or so, I just break down into deep sobs. I can't believe this.

I know that almost everything I've posted about him has been negative. Well, as it is, I only feel like writing when I'm upset. So it'd be unfair to say that this has all been bad from the beginning. But from your point of view, you would probably say this was inevitable, and good even.

He has more issues and flaws than any other person I know. I hate so much about him. He was stupid and thoughtless and selfish. But I still loved him. I still wanted everything for him. And it's just so unfair that it had to end like this.

Honestly, we both knew we had no future together. What we wanted was just to different. I'm always going to run away and leave behind everything I find familiar.

It is so hard for me to fall in love. That much should be obvious, if you have been reading from the beginning. My attachment to everyone is so weak. I could leave anybody behind him a heartbeat. But it was different for him. I wanted so badly for him to come with me. To leave everything behind. I could never leave him behind.

I am in so much pain.