Answering with Questions

I. Don't. Know. What. To. Do.

No matter how I say it, it'll sound pathetic. But there isn't any other way to say it! Because no matter how it's said, it all means the same thing! Different words put together to make different sentences that have no difference whatsoever. No way to change the arrangement to make it something less intimidating, less impending, less imposing, less...

Terrifying.

Or perhaps I'm the only one who sees it that way?

Am I the only one who is unable to open up, and let myself feel, for once in my life? I'm sorry, that's an exaggeration.  Heat of the moment drama.  Still, why is it that I keep holding back, when its so obvious that I need to let go? What is it exactly that I'm afraid of?

Lets see.
Theres the possibility that I won't be able to give, and that I will only ever receive, never capable of returning anything close to what I would be basking in unconditionally.
Theres the prospect that it may not work, and I would have lost more than I ever would have gained, leaving me with only regrets of what could have been avoided.
Theres the probability that everything will proceed smoothly, yet deny me what I have only ever wanted in this world.

Or perhaps its growth that I first seek?

There has always been that small gap standing in the way, in which only a little growth would fill.  But who exactly needs to grow?  What needs to grow? It can't be just me that has to make the effort to mature.  Sure, that is undeniable.  But I don't stand alone in this.

After all.
Even this can't stay the same forever, become someday, when the world is just a little bit older, everything will be forced to change.
Even though something is utterly perfect in one condition, changing the setting can and will destroy the utopia, and demand another.
Even a child, who holds innocence, youth, and blissful happiness, is innately wired to desire something different.

Or perhaps I am completely wrong?

Theres of course the obvious direction of which I criticize, claiming that its wrong not to follow through.  But maybe it's wrong of me to criticize? Am I wrong to go into this without feeling the necessary emotions, and instead replacing them with fear?  Am I wrong to fear at all?

It's simple.
Too many times have I ignored everything, pretending that if I close my eyes, I can't see it, and therefore it won't see me.
Too many days have I spend telling myself that the entire situation was something useless to me, and was only needed for others to fulfill themselves.
Too many moments have I chosen to let even the most perfect position pass me by, for fear that it would destroy my carefully built wall.

So what is the outcome here? What is there left to do? How am I supposed to respond, and what is at risk? Is it even worth it? Would I be satisfied if I let this slip by me?

In the end.

It's really something when best friends fall in love.

FanFiction Exert

"I know you've read all of the stories about him, but..." A troubled look crossed Romani's face. Perhaps not one of deep secrecy, but definitely something I couldn't ignore. I had no option but to press forward.

"Well, okay, what kind of person was he, then?" After all, I had every right to know. It couldn't be to bad, considering how much everyone seemed to worship him. I mean, Hero of Time? Is there an epithet out there that beats that? If so, please, come forth. Lets have a glass of milk together. My treat, seriously. If you can do something beyond altering space and time, and have been given a name worthy of such, you must be a heck of a guy. Or, hey, lets not narrow out the girls. But this isn't the issue currently at hand. 

The sigh that escaped her lips was one that I'd heard before. It was the same one as the time I accidentally fell asleep while watching the cows on the Red Moon Night, and the alien things swiped them.  It took us two weeks to find them again (I swear, those things are getting smarter each year). I remember I heard it again when we got the letter from the Talpai Town bar, saying they no longer needed our milk shipments, since they had found a source that was much closer and cheaper. Not that it held a match to our milk, so it was their loss, really. Either way, this was her disappointment sigh. But somehow, this one seemed different from the others. There was a hint of... pain? Could that be it? After all, you can never be completely sure about these things. 

"You're father, he... well, he was a good man, really.  Always willing to help others out, even if it meant his own agenda would be pushed back. I remember when I first met him... well, he looked like a little grasshopper, all dressed in green. I thought he was weird, but..." At this, small pink spots of blush flushed across Romani's cheeks, "You couldn't resist liking him.  After all, he was so kind..." Her face burned darker red, "B-but of course, he loved your mother, and it was always his goal to save her, of course, because she was so beautiful and tall, so... so yes. A-anyway, he was good. Brave, just like he was always meant to be. And yet... he was just a person. We all are. And we all have our mistakes. Sometimes you can hide them, but... somebody will always find out.  And if that person loves you enough... they can look over it. Unless you aren't willing to change, and at that point... well, it's all up to you, then. And someday, you'll suffer from those mistakes." 

I waited a moment for Romani to finish. After a moment of silence, I realized that this was all I was going to get out of her. However vague, at least it was something. Better than the years of glorified legends about some god-like man who went around saving the world. He sounded at least like someone who could be relatable. Still, though, I couldn't shake the feeling that something went really wrong, and Romani knew about it. But I knew how she worked. She wasn't going to spill that easily. The best I could do is drop it, and maybe bring it up again later, when she was in a tranquil mood. 

"Okay, Romani, thanks a lot. It feels good to hear something new about him." 

"Yes... something new..." her eyes were still in deep thought, as if debating with the mysterious events of the past. 

"I'm... gonna go ahead and go to bed. Don't stay up to late. We're going to Min Ho tomorrow for the Perishable Trade meeting."

"Right... yes, I remember. Goodnight, Saria."

I began walking back to my room, but caught a last glimpse of Romani, who was shaking her head, her eyes closed and a slight frown on her face. It didn't look like she was going to heed my advice.  What on earth could be troubling her so much? 

Link... who are you? 

*** *** ***

Okay, I know that's totally weird. And honestly, I hate doing fan-based things... Yeah, call me a hypocrite. I'm well aware of my Haruhi Suzumiya fetish. But I started this story when I was... man... 13, maybe? I was pretty young. And let me say, it was pretty awful. The illustrations were less than thrilling, too. Anyway, on my way back to my room today, the little fan fiction crossed my mind, and it developed a bit. That is, in contrast to my older version, Link has some dark past, in which he did something that completely altered and destroyed his previous reputation. That is, of course, it would have, if everybody knew about it. Only a few people know what happened, and even they don't have the complete story. 

If you didn't pick up on what just happened, let me spell it out for you. Link and Zelda got married or something, and had a daughter, named after Saria. Something happened to them, so now she is living with Romani (the little alien-obsessed girl from MM). Since these... er... people (I don't know what to call them. Are they humans? Not really...) live to be pretty old (at least, in my world they do), this is about 160 years after OoT.  Thats three Zora generations, and about half of a Goron's. For story bored's sake, I'm gonna go ahead and say that events from any of the toon Link games are going to be overlooked.  Though, I'm gonna keep the bird people race around... I just love them to much. Not that I'm gonna actually continue to write this. To cliche.