I'm blogging again.
What was with that little spurt of an ending? Ah, well, that was Summer, my friends. And as it is, I got hooked on another blog-like thing (though it's hardly fair to call it blog-like, since it is, in fact, a blog). I always feel weird about the whole 'promoting' thing, but so long as I'm promoting myself and not having another person do it (which would result in endless... embarrassment.), I suppose it's okay. allthatslefttodo.tumblr.com is my new photo blog. All the pictures are mine and whatnot, and are images of the most important thing that happened to me on that respective day. I suppose it would be important to say that I don't care if you use the pictures. In fact, I don't care that you give me credit. My only request is that you don't do anything mean to them... I hate that. My ability to keep up with it is also dwindling, as with the beginning of class comes with my camera bag being a bit more of a burden to carry around. Seriously, being an art major requires more arm space than I currently posses.
And that's where I'm going to begin here...
Art major. I've spent the last year and a half laughing at my friend's (if I have any here) homework assignments: the essays, the projects, the math problems, the whole lot of them. After all, my homework is to draw a picture of the flower sitting on my desk. I laugh and I laugh and I laugh, as I have always done on the outside. But the inside? Instability. Confusion. Hopeless. What on earth is an art major supposed to do with their life? If there are any art majors out there reading this, please ignore me for a while. I tend to have a very pessimistic view of the whole concept, even though its a part of my being. The way I see it, your future as an artist is to become a starving artist, digitally draw what other people want you to draw, or teach other people to go down the same path. No matter how I look at it, all I see are dead ends. I like to eat, I'm far to selfish to draw for others, and I don't want to lead other people down the same road. Don't get me wrong, though! Art is important. It's expressive and creative and an outlet unlike any other. But for me, I think it's more of a hobby. Sure, theres my impending dream of writing my own manga. But as it is, I think I'd feel more comfortable working on that on my own. Deadlines kill me. And so I've come to this conclusion. It's time to change majors. And theres only one major that I can pick.
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Biology.
What?? Where on earth did that come from? Well, you see, ever since I was a kid, I'd wanted to be a vet. I don't know how your schools work, but in my Jr High careers class, they made us go 'job shadowing', which basically meant you followed some person around at their work place. I chose to go to a vet clinic. Not gonna lie, I used to be quite queasy around guts and blood. They happened to be doing a surgery that day. I wasn't allowed inside, but my imagination was enough to, essentially, make me never want to step foot in that place ever again. However, over time, I've grown used to it. I've always generally liked my biology classes, especially after I found out I was terrible with physics and chemistry (I'm even struggling in my astronomy, and it's only my love for stars that keeps me going). So I figured, what the heck? Lets do this thing. Lets get a career!! Depending on who I talk to about this, I get different responses. My mom was surprised, and as always, supportive. I don't think she liked me being in art courses. My best friend, who is now my boyfriend (I hate that word. His name is Dane. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned his actual name before, but... gahh screw internet security.), is super excited, since he's currently enrolled in RN courses, and sees this as us going into the same field. A few random friends are also excited and shocked for me. But then theres the random comment every once in a while, "you need to do what you love! Don't just quit for money!". Uhm... okay. I'm not quitting art. I'll never quit art. That's like telling me to quit taking showers. One of those necessary-yet-not-actually-necissary things, you know? Also, I love not worrying about my future. That sounds like a really... materialistic thing to say. But I'm not gonna lie to you. Heck, you don't know me! It's true, though. I hated thinking about what I was going to do after I graduated. I hated working for hours in a fast food restaurant so I could pay for a second-hand school, because taking loans out for a questionable future was out of the question. In the end, it all comes down to money, doesn't it? That's so sad. Seriously, though. I'm really excited about this. I mentioned before that Dane was, too. Hah, I can't say he's to pumped about my desire to open a dog kennel on my future property. He's allergic to dogs.
Uhm... I don't even know how if everything in this post is even legible. I feel very sick today. Light headed and borderline depressed. Not in the mood to talk about it. Well, perhaps I would have if the post before this one wasn't so heavy. The point is, I didn't proof read, and I feel like I'm about to pass out. There may not have been any life in it. I'll never know. For once, I think I'm grateful for work today. At least I don't have to continue sitting around this room, drifting in and out of sleep, alone and silent. I promise I'll get better at writing again.
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